a love story...

I have a million and one things to do today as i get closer to departure time...laundry and last minute shopping are foremost in my mind as i type these words this morning...it's 10:22 am and i haven't had my coffee yet...i can't believe i am even typing without having taken a sip...anyhooo...lulu is taking her usual morning nap so i thought i would get busy writing while i have this free pocket of time...there was a moment yesterday when i thought i had died and gone to heaven...my daughter lay on my chest fast asleep and i could feel her breath on my face...i could feel her rising chest press against mine...her little fingers were wrapped around a piece of my hair...we were on the couch relaxing after a few hours of errands ie: post office, bank, diaper and wipes run at target etc...i felt so connected to her at that moment...so free from the strife of life...so perfectly in tune with nature...the television was on but i wasn't watching it...i was completely lost in my own love story...the one between me and lulu...the one that gives me so much pleasure...so today i send out a silent prayer for everyone in the world to feel loved because it sure makes life worth living!

Poem for the day:

Inside of me
The wind, the air and the light
Serenade my fortitude

Inside of me
Lilacs whisper loudly-
Telling that old smile to remember its place

Inside of me
Love laughs without regret!

kgr

Excerpt from "A Side Order Of Truth" by Karen Gibson Roc

coming soon

what constitutes freedom?

"All answers are synonymous to the question!"

Ok so it snowed last night...i watched the oscars like most people and was happy for jennifer hudson and forrest whitaker...anyway today started a little slow...i stayed in bed longer than i have in months...i feel rested and strong but i also feel a little frayed at the edges...i'm thinking too fast and too hard...so as i write these words i take deep breaths and soothe my spirit...i've been conversing with a production company out of LA to bring me out there to do a show...we are currently going back and forth...we'll see what happens...i would love to go...i really believe it's time for my physical to journey outside of nyc...i would love to get to europe...that is one of my biggest goals at present...anyway lulu has just finished her lunch of organic carrots and polished off a 6oz bottle of formula...she's quietly playing in her playpen while i share my days thoughts with you...i'm headed back to toronto for a week on friday...i'm looking forward to a different scene and to see my family...it will be lulu's first plane ride and trip out of nyc...i haven't been home for a while and i definitely think the time has come to return...perhaps i will perform while i am up there...or perhaps i will just lie around and soak up some family love...we'll see when the time arrives...photo:snow storm '06

Poem for the day:

"All answers are synonymous to the question."

There isn’t much going on…other than the noise from the television and the rather wild wind pressing against strained windows… I sit watching the noise and listening to myself think.

“When do we know if we’ve let go of what we were

so we can become what we desire to be???”

"All answers are synonymous to the question."
I’m changing my life by what I’m thinking this evening--

I’m making a declaration of character.

“Revelation becomes the most important thing in a woman’s life – don’t you think?”

“All answers are synonymous to the question.”
I want to write these things on a bathroom wall somewhere...

kgr

Excerpt from "Side Order of Truth" by Karen Gibson Roc

coming soon

CROSSROAD

i feel i am at the biggest crossroad of my life...i can't tell you what i think the next revelation will be because of course i don't know...i feel change coming once again...like a life changing change...like when i stepped onto the stage for the first time to perform or like when i met and later married my husband and of course years later when i found out i was pregnant and finally when i gave birth to lulu...also - back in the day it was packing one suitcase and moving to new york from toronto...all of these periods helped to shape who i am and where i sit today...when i think about these pockets of time i remember being scared...not afraid...but challenged...challenged to transform my thinking...the road widens and the road narrows...where it leads stems from my own thinking and acting in the present...i'm not scared this time because i have wonderful memories that help me to remain calm and resourceful...experiences that nurture my strength and courage...life is a series of manifestations that are born from thought and action...so today i remember to feed my thoughts with love and water them with positivity! photo: crossroad

Illus ional reality

Everything seems strange

When the shifting winds of change

Come knocking at my door
This mind doesn’t rewind
I find ways to push on

Until the new dawn is revealed

Illusions and lies get demoralized

By dreamers that don’t hide from deceivers

It’s easily revealed like truth unlocked unsealed
Revelation is humanities appeal to the unknown energy field

I’m flying free so that I can see the mountain I left behind me--
My mind is now free to move within this illusional reality

I hope I’m not disturbing the peace
I can’t contain this lyrical beast
Outside of societies cage
I fill paper with words
Page after page after page

I love my words and they explain how I feel
They’ll fill you up like your momma’s best meal

I realize reality
And my ability is to flip respectability
Lyrically
Talent on the brain with no hunger for fame
Even though I came with my words to swallow you whole

From the deepest...darkest...part of your mind

To the sweetest...softest...part of your soul

I’m flying free so that I can see the mountain I left behind me--
My mind is now free to move within this illusional reality

Song Lyrics from DVD/CD project "Travelling With Light" - song "Illusional Reality"

BY KAREN GIBSON ROC & FLUID

to listen: www.myspace.com/karengibsonrocandfluid

for purchase info: www.boxmatic.com

kgr

WE NEVER SETTLE 4 LESS

When we come together
We quickly change the pace
Unlocking mysteries from somewhere deep inside of empty space
We verbally create facilities to relate from face to face
We climb inside of eternity
Leaving entrances that look like absurdities
We audit biblical scriptures
And we piece them together with sutures
We unmask the masked
Never asking to get paid back
We humbly embrace the universe and try our best never to curse

We never settle for less
We are warriors withstanding the test
At best we shatter egos wherever we go
Wherever we go
Wherever we go

We pay homage to simplicity
With the ability to make change
With two pennies and a nickel that equal seven
Reality rhymes with heaven-
On earth
Shattering illusion and destroying confusion
We peel back separation
With simple contemplation
We climb inside of each others minds
Paying six dollar ticket prices
While rolling crystal dices
We take pen in hand
Claiming eternity
Always writing because we like the art inciting
Enticing people to think
We don’t even give them time to blink
Remembering rhymes quicker than a pen unleashing ink

We never settle for less
We are warriors withstanding the test
At best we shatter egos wherever we go
Wherever we go
Wherever we go

song lyrics from WARRIORS on cd "5&2fish" by

KAREN GIBSON ROC & FLUID

http://cdbaby.com/cd/kgr

WINDING DOWN

the sun has gone down and i just got off of the phone with ginnie from emancipation radio - her show is called lyrical rhapsody www.myspace.com/lyricalrhapsody we had an extensive interview and i feel fantastic...sharing is something that costs nothing and gives back so much...finding like minded people in the world is so rewarding and that is what happened today...i feel like someone filled my candy jar without me even asking...the interview will air in April and i will re-post that information as i get it...my lulu is taking her evening nap and i am left quietly typing this quick blog...i felt a little out of sorts earlier but that is definitely behind me now...i feel purposeful and full...as the cacaphony of sound thrives outside of my window i feel snug, warm and extremely appreciative...photo: untitled

poem for the day:

every night I go to sleep
wakin’ the next mornin’ to creep
into a new life
without strife
i journey without bags
movin' at my own pace

dippin’ in the sea of another place

understand that I run my own school of thought
where equality is the number one trait
let us look inside
‘cause everyone has his or her death date
don’t be afraid to shed a tear
your reason being a little fear
think about the feeling you call fate
release all your anger, the ignorance and hate

dippin’ in the sea of another place

take the time to think about good dates
where smiling is the pastime
look at the mountain you thought you couldn’t climb
and meet me at the top
‘cause I’ll always save you a place
on the outside of the rat race

dippin' in the sea of another place

kgr

counting my blessings with thought of breath...

i went out twice today and i'm feeling a little tired but never too tired to write...i was going to write about the hate i encountered from someone i ran into this evening...someone i haven't seen for some time...someone i used to have a friendship with... instead i decided not to use my energy and time to give that dying fire any more flame...so i'll write about something that speaks to my soul...my lulu has just drifted off to sleep...and tonight i am remembering when she was inside my belly and how quick the time passes...she's seven months and so smart and beautiful...when i watch her sleep something deep inside of me awakens...i feel like a beautiful flower that has opened to life for the first time...i feel like the sun when it peeks over the horizon bringing a fresh day...her and her father are the reason i wake up with an abundant heart...sometimes i have to pinch myself to believe that this is my life and that i have soooooooooo much love...both to share and to recieve...i count my blessings every single day that turns into night...i am not afraid when the day is over anymore...i used to feel sad when the day ended and i can't explain why...now i embrace everysingle moment and love every minute that i breathe air into these lungs...photo: pregnant belly silhouette

Poem for the day:

i have wings on my back
i gathered the leaves of my life

that is to say my life as a young girl and my life as an adult

what i’m trying to say is

one day i woke up beside an angel

she spoke to me

and admired me

have wings on my back
i have wings on my back

Anger brings back at you

my momma told me i could be free inside of my own nature

listen to the unheard of space

have wings on my back
i have wings on my back

passion submits to nothing

we don’t know where we came from no matter what the book said

we don’t know where we’re going no matter what the genius said last week

deep in realization

today blows like an old jazz tune

sweet…sweet…sweet

have wings on my back
i have wings on my back

kgr

and...it's 9:14pm

photo: reflection (self portrait)

poem for the day:

night time brings a nocturnal announcement
that today is rapidly coming to a close

today seemed strange in that it played out like an old black and white thriller

where all characters trembled in anticipation of the unknown

moments chase days

and days chase years

and years chase centuries

and centuries chase and chase and chase

moments

pointless television copulates with saturated consumerism

spreading the disease called greed--

it suffocates nature and

strangles the serene faced deity

leaving her legend bathed in blood

what does the map look like?

the one we are drawing for our children

and their children

and their children

and theirs

and...

kgr

COLLECTIVE SOUL CONSCIOUSNESS

OK so things are smoothing out brilliantly...I'm receiving better offers to perform and i am getting that extra time that i know i need to feel more comfortable...anyway that's enough about all that stuff...i was checking my emails as i always do when lulu goes back to sleep for her morning nap...with my usual cup of coffee i sat before the computer and read an email from an acquaintance that I've known for a few years now...she sent me a link to watch a video and i was warmed to the very core with what it shared so i am sending it out to you... photo: looking

2012: THE TIME OF THE SIXTH SUN

http://www.timeofthesixthsun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=26&Itemid=39

I've been thinking about the collective soul consciousness these past few months and seeing this video encouraged me to continue on the road that is widening before me...

Poem for the day:

My eyes were made to see the lessons told by nature
My breath was made to sustain life and dreams
My ears were made to hear the truth that shatters duplicity
My hands were made to touch the things I love to hold
My legs were made to walk through doubt and lack
My heart was made to re-invent life from moment to moment
My lungs were made to hold life inside
My feet were made to stamp out greed and hate
My fingers were made to write insights
And my mind was made to create anything I desire to be
kgr

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!Well this afternoon was a treat...i came face to face with my ugly side....that ugly person...with the ego driven emotional blame everybody but yourself demon that craves attention...all week i've been blaming everyone else for the whole drama about the show and the decision to cancel...the real deal is...i was not ready...i desire a little bit more time...and i was pushing too fast and too hard (plus i wasn't confident that the place was the right situation for our sound with the full band)...trying to prove to myself and to the world that i can still be the same person i was before i had lulu...well that is not possible...things are completely different and patience is even more important now...being patient with myself and with the world around me...i have to reconcile with the fact that i will always be an artist, the only difference is that i am now a mother and priorities change...which is--as far as i see it--fullfilling and enriching...i was letting everything outside of myself move me in directions that i had no desire to go in...i have steadily been shutting out my soul voice and replacing it with the ego voice...the young lady i was doing business with became my pin cushion and i was sticking it to her...hard...thank God she is a charming and beautiful soul...she understood exactly what i was going through and helped me over and out of a hole i had dug for myself...she is an angel...instead of running away i confronted the situation and came out the winner...both sides came out winning...RESOLUTION IS THE MESSAGE FOR TODAY...i resolved so much that i feel like i am walking on air...i truly feel blessed...i am so happy that i had this experience and have it to look back on just incase i back myself into a corner again...i will return to the stage in God's time...photo: the mike

poem for the day:

she wages war

she dances on decency and terrorizes beauty

she dresses in ego

and drives out balance

she is

me

on a stormy day

weaving tales of drama

peppered with darkness

she is

me

when i leave God on hold!

kgr

FINDING PROFUNDITY IN THE ORDINARY!

I woke up a little earlier than i normally do this morning but that's cool, i don't feel tired i feel pretty good. Things are moving slow, Sunday mornings are meant to keep pace with snails. I'm not in a very profound mood. I'm quietly deciding what mushy food to feed lulu and what time i should start getting ready to go out - we are going visiting this afternoon. I might try and stop by the Brooklyn Museum, I've been putting off a visit for one day too long. I watched some of the all star stuff like the dunking contest with my husband last night, not usually my cup of tea but lulu was asleep and i lay relaxed on the couch just absorbing an evening of family time - a beautiful concept.

I finally made a decision that I've been putting off, i cancelled all of my gigs coming up. There was one coming up on March 1st and i just felt in my gut that it wasn't going to be worth my while. I have a band of professional musicians to think about besides the fact that i am a mother now and everything i do has to be to somehow further what I'm doing. I've got to step up the game. I've got to step up to the plate. Sometimes not doing something helps more than hinders a situation. Bad sound, poor promotions etc don't make for a great combination. Anyway I've re-assessed some things and i feel stronger for it. I feel that i am on firmer ground, in my gut!!

So on this morning where i didn't feel all too profound, I've come up on something extremely and fundamentally profound. "FOLLOWING MY HEART ALWAYS MAKES FOR BETTER RELATIONS WITH MYSELF!" photo:simplicity

Poem for the day:

I wake every morning

With a physical mind

I wake every morning

With a continuous rhyme

I wake every morning

With a new journey to find

I wake every morning

With a brand new mountain to climb

I wake every morning

Letting go of time

I wake every morning

Letting go of what’s mine

I wake every morning

Letting go of what’s behind

I wake every morning

Letting go of straight lines

I wake every morning

With a new song to sing

I wake every morning

With a louder bell to ring

I wake every morning

With a new story to write

I wake every morning

With a brand new insight

I wake every morning

Being grateful for life

I wake every morning

Being a soul without strife

I wake every morning

Being simple and carefree

I wake every morning

Being as expansive as the sea

I wake every morning

Knowing that God is the ultimate light

I wake every morning

Knowing my choices are right

I wake every morning

Knowing the day will not last

I wake every morning

Knowing my past is my past

I wake every morning

Knowing I must face what I face

I wake every morning

Moving at my own pace

So I appreciate

my journey

Because

It’s never too late

To walk hand in hand with

my PERSONAL fate

kgr

WASHING AWAY YESTERDAY!

I woke up this morning in a better frame of mind. Last night i washed away yesterdays blues. I had a great nights sleep and a good cup of coffee. I feel light and airy on this cold Saturday morning. The love, remembrance and appreciation of where i am is the cure for the ailment of emotion sickness or melodrama. Brooklyn is my home and i adore it. I am reminding myself that i am truly blessed with love and nourishment from my sweet family and from the love of the one true love -----the peace keeper and peace breaker! photo:brooklyn bridge!

Poem for the day:

I am like dew cascading from thick green leaf
I sparkle like virgin morning
Like fresh desire before hitting the ground

I love to revel in the balanced pre-fetal expanse without pollution about my dignity
I am weightless, unsecured and portrayed as meek
I AM BIRTH

God came to life on my emergence into existence

Mystified by solid surroundings
I speak benevolently

I pray---
I pray---
For nothing more than the God in me to keep me company

KGR

WHERE AM I HEADED?

TODAY FEELS LIKE ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHERE I'M DRAGGING AN ELEPHANT UP A STEEP HILL. THIS IS THE LIFE I HAVE CHOSEN. THIS IS THE ROAD I HAVE CHOSEN TO WALK ON SO I MUST BEAR THIS EMOTIONAL WEIGHT AND KEEP SMILING IF ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF MY DAUGHTER. SHE IS SO HAPPY AND CAREFREE I DON'T WANT TO BURDEN HER WITH MY EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE. THE GREAT THING ABOUT HAVING HER IN MY LIFE IS THAT WHEN I LOOK AT HER BEAUTIFUL FACE A SMILE APPEARS ON MINE AND MY HEART LIGHTENS UP IF ONLY FOR A FEW MOMENTS AT A TIME.

THE WHOLE CAREER THING IS CHALLENGING. DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE THE HARDEST TO SWALLOW, BEING PATIENT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE AND WORKING WITH PEOPLE WHO DO THINGS AT HALF STEAM INFURIATE ME. THIS WEEK 2 GIGS WERE CANCELLED AND ONE SEEMS TO BE DANGLING BETWEEN PURPOSEFUL AND DEBATABLE.

THE ABOVE PHOTO IS CALLED THREE LITTLE BIRDS. PERSPECTIVE IS THE PROMINENT ELEMENT IN THIS PHOTO. THEY ARE SITTING IN A TREE BUT NOT THE ACTUAL TREE, THEY ARE SITTING IN THE SHADOW OF THE TREE. THEY ARE SITTING IN A TREE EITHER WAY YOU LOOK AT IT. SO TODAY I AM SITTING IN THE SHADOW OF THE TREE KNOWING THAT I AM IN THE RIGHT PLACE EVEN THOUGH SOMETIMES THINGS SEEM OUT OF PLACE.

Poem for the day:
Various energies align with reciprocity invoking tangible recompense
Soft and bulbous is the succulent hour that parades in front of glossed and teary eyes
Brazen awakenings melt frozen unforgiveness
I am new today
Filled with perfection that is without pontification
Venerable and disguised as unknown
Poetry makes everything begin again!
kgr