aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!Well this afternoon was a treat...i came face to face with my ugly side....that ugly person...with the ego driven emotional blame everybody but yourself demon that craves attention...all week i've been blaming everyone else for the whole drama about the show and the decision to cancel...the real deal is...i was not ready...i desire a little bit more time...and i was pushing too fast and too hard (plus i wasn't confident that the place was the right situation for our sound with the full band)...trying to prove to myself and to the world that i can still be the same person i was before i had lulu...well that is not possible...things are completely different and patience is even more important now...being patient with myself and with the world around me...i have to reconcile with the fact that i will always be an artist, the only difference is that i am now a mother and priorities change...which is--as far as i see it--fullfilling and enriching...i was letting everything outside of myself move me in directions that i had no desire to go in...i have steadily been shutting out my soul voice and replacing it with the ego voice...the young lady i was doing business with became my pin cushion and i was sticking it to her...hard...thank God she is a charming and beautiful soul...she understood exactly what i was going through and helped me over and out of a hole i had dug for myself...she is an angel...instead of running away i confronted the situation and came out the winner...both sides came out winning...RESOLUTION IS THE MESSAGE FOR TODAY...i resolved so much that i feel like i am walking on air...i truly feel blessed...i am so happy that i had this experience and have it to look back on just incase i back myself into a corner again...i will return to the stage in God's time...photo: the mike
poem for the day:
she wages war
she dances on decency and terrorizes beauty
she dresses in ego
and drives out balance
she is
me
on a stormy day
weaving tales of drama
peppered with darkness
she is
me
when i leave God on hold!
kgr
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